I know it’s been a little over a week since my last post. I’ve been swamped and in pain.
You see, I had a painful, stiff neck for a few days. I couldn’t move my neck in any direction, it felt like I had a stick hooked to my neck, shoulders and upper back. My husband had to massage it nightly and stay in our room with me, to help me. I couldn’t eat properly. I had to stay in bed/our bedroom to rest and lay down.
It was at that very moment I realize how much he was worried about me. He was so attentive, lol. I stayed strong for him (well for a second). But I’d eventually broke down in tears saying,
“I’m trying to be strong because I see how this is worrying you. But I am tired of being in pain, and I hate being handicap. I hate being in this f*cking room, and in this bed! We need a new mattress!”
He looked at me with worried eyes, and said,
“I know, and I hate seeing you like this.”
While rubbing my back, and drying my tears. I then insisted that he go downstairs to his cave to relax and stop worrying about me. After he left, I painfully fell to my knees and prayed with tears while begging for the pain to go away. In 24hrs, I started to feel better. I was able to work on my home computer/office, and not via iPhone, iPad, etc.,
Meanwhile, at work, my boss was worse than my husband. He noticed I was less cheerful, polite, and energetic. He finally asks me what’s wrong, I told him about my neck, shoulders etc., and how painful it had been. Although he was able to see that upon looking at me. I had bags under my eyes, and the spark in my eyes wasn’t there anymore. He immediately set up a spa day for us. Despite that, I still manage to avoid eating lunch with my boss for a few days.
By Monday, after my prayer and feeling better, I was eating lunch with my boss again. It was like old times, of him ordering for me, us laughing, deep stimulating conversation, and hearing his infectious laugh that makes my heart skip a beat every time. I then realize at that moment how much I missed it, and missed him. There were even moments when people thought we were a married couple. We both had our wedding rings on, I guess it was easy to make that assumption. But to my surprise and his, we allowed them to think that.
Tuesday July 21, 2020
The day of another meeting that he scheduled for him and me, was a closed meeting. That means no additions and no changes. I, however, cannot trust myself alone around him. So, I pinged the same trainees and gave them the time and location for the meeting. I knew he was going to be upset (he’ll get over it).
It was a meeting in a different building on the 15th floor to preview the new tool consoles, and so on. They needed to look at this, well they were eventually with everyone else. I gave them early access, after-all I am training them. If they fail, I will look bad, and thus far, they’re making me look like a superstar.
But there was also something strange about this meeting. It was scheduled during lunch hours. Meaning that the elevators, streets, etc., were going to be pack. So, while driving in his blue 2020 Cadillac CT4-V., listening to jazz music (love it) and laughing, talking about random topics and things. It was peaceful, he didn’t make any moves on me. He paid attention to the road and occasionally smile at me, he was at peace.
Upon he and I arriving at the building, and of course, he opened the door for me, he always does. He even got into the habit of taking my briefcase and his whenever we go to any meeting.
Upon coming from the garage entering the building, seeing the packed lobby and everyone getting on and off the elevators. We were already pressed for time, so we jumped on the nearest available one. Upon us getting on the elevator, it was only a few of us. By the 2nd or 3rd floor, the elevator was packed, and we were stuck pinned in the back corner of the elevator, my boss was behind me.
I swear, I have never been so nervous and turned on in my life. My back (partial) and full bottom pressed so firmly against him. Smelling his cologne that makes me horny as hell every time I smelled it. The way his suit fits on him, sexy as hell. Feeling his hard body pressed against me, and quickly feeling something hard growing against my butt. It felt so good, and I was getting wet by the sec. My heart started beating fast, and I tried to push forward thoughts of my husband in my mind to give me the strength to pull away, but I couldn’t. I was hungry, and I wanted him bad. I even felt my boss breathing heavily, and he then leaned his head against the back of my head, whispering,
“I’m trying so hard, shit, I want you.”
Meanwhile, the floor dings from the elevator became a distance sound in our ears. My boss had my hips in his hands, holding me so close like he was using me as a shield to cover his erection. I found myself grinding against him, he began to moan in my ears. Upon me looking around, it seems that everyone was so converse in their own things, they didn’t notice us. Until, we arrived on the 10th floor (the number 10, the day of my birthday). Some people got onto the elevator yelling at each other, that broke us out of our trance.
I immediately moved away, and tears started to form (held them back). What the hell was I doing? It was like I was drugged or brainwashed. I couldn’t look at my boss for the remainder of the meeting. I was happy that Jen (lady with many questions) was there, she managed to break the tension, and I even laughed a few times. Especially when my boss did his irritating bow and eyebrow raise. I tried to avoid talking to him during the drive back to the office. But he didn’t have it, and he abruptly blurted out,
“That’s it! I can’t take it! We need to talk.”
He then pulled into an empty restaurant parking lot and turned off the ignition and asked me.
“What is this between us? What are we doing?”
“I have no idea, I’m so confused- I mean, I want—” (he interrupts)
MY BOSS- “I want you too, and I think about you all the time. My heart skips when I see you enter a room. I never felt this way about anyone, not even my wife. I know you, and I are married, and I know that you’re a devoted woman. But I-I-I need to know what to do? I lo—“ (watery eyes)
I sat there, holding my phone tightly like it was a clutch holding me together. I was nervous, confused, and holding back tears while listening to my boss bare his soul to me.
MY BOSS- “–I need to know, is this all in my mind? Because I feel you want me. I felt that in the elevator, and when we hug, and we kissed. That kiss, wow—I never felt a kiss like that ever, and I -well, that doesn’t matter. Please!! Tell me, what’s happening to us, and where do we go from here?” (pleading)
I decided to tell him everything. I told him I think about him every day, and how much I wanted him sexually and emotionally. I also told him the same on how I never felt this way about anyone in years or ever (I don’t remember). Upon me saying that we both exhaled as if we were both holding it in until that very moment. And we dropped our heads backward into our seats while unexpectedly holding hands. (not sure when that happened). Until his phone rung, he was late for another meeting.
He and I remained so busy for the remainder of the day, we didn’t have a chance to continue.
Meanwhile, at home, my marriage is excellent, back to normal. Should I tell my husband?